written by: Deacon John Rogers

Dude. This topic can be really frustrating when leading people to pray. “Therapy by Prayer Request” occurs in mild forms when people start bonding over a prayer request. Typically, the requester puts forward a request that another person “just resonates with.” The typical response runs something like, “Omigod. I went through that also!” And then the two have what I think is called “a moment.” This form of therapy can be good- building relationships, sharing life, opening up doors for deeper “convos” or “heart-to-hearts” that can lead to confession and repentance. In my limited understanding of the female species this seems to be a really powerful thing. Guys do this too, referring to this as a…well…I can’t think of a term. But we do it too. Honestly. But it usually involves “fixing” another person. Despite the positives in milder forms, in more advanced cases this can be damaging. You know this is occurring when there’s…hmm…30 minutes of prayer request followed by 10 minutes of prayer. Most time is spent therapeutically discussing the prayer request instead of praying. The telltale symptoms for diagnosing this is a lengthy conversation that usually begins with:

• “I remember when we went through that…,”
• “Aaaah! I am SO proud of you! Did you do…,”
• “How did he say it…,”
• “What you need to do is…,”
• “Dude, you need to read…,”
• “Bro, just listen to that one sermon about…”

Now again, these and more importantly the empathy behind them- are not necessarily negative. But when this begins a conversation with man that trumps a conversation with God, I’d argue that there’s an issue. Who are we indirectly teaching people to go to for comfort, fulfillment, and fixing: God, or man? Sure, prayer requests identify deep important things. They can help you “read” a person, whether seeing their idolatries, fears, lack of trust, or greatest joys. These are good things to catalogue and remember, especially at community group prayer times. But do they need to be discussed right away? Are we scared that if we don’t discuss it right then and there,  we can’t make a follow up call/e-mail/text/hang out? If not, was it that important to begin with? Are you scared that if you don’t speak pearls of wisdom in that moment, it won’t be “fixed?” If we are scared, what does that say about who we believe is really in control? Finally, I perceive that the pushback to this will be, “But John, if I know what’s going on better, I can pray for someone better.” Fair, and I appreciate your heart. Buuuut…does God really need you to explain another person’s situation to Him? Doesn’t He already know? To the point where the actual time spent in communication with Him is significantly cut? So, I’d call us back to hitting our knees first, giving God the first crack. Then, by all means go discuss the issues behind the request, the life experience/book/sermon you can impart…unless of course, it’s time to go and getting to bed is more important…