This is part of a series of frank answers to difficult questions regarding sexual abuse by Annette Schuster (includes mature content). For the introduction to the series click here.

(this is part 8 in this series – to read part 7, click here)

Question: How do I recognize changes in behavior that might indicate a child is being or has been abused?

Response: The following are behaviors and symptoms that indicate the possibility that a child has or is experiencing sexual abuse.  Please remember that other than the presence of a STD or pregnancy, you will usually see several of the symptoms.

•    An older child behaving like a younger child such as bedwetting or thumb sucking.

•    Develops a fear of specific places that they one time enjoyed.

•    Resists being alone with a child, young person, or adult especially when they previously enjoyed spending time the person.

•     Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, rawness, or foul odor coming from the genital area.

•    Fears of going to bed or other sleep disturbances.

•    Play, writing, drawing, or dreams that include sexual or frightening images.

•    Shows resistance to routine bathing, toileting, or removing clothes when in appropriate situations.

•    Develops special relationships with older friends that may include unexplained money, gifts, or privileges.

•    Refuses to talk about a secret they have with an adult or other child – especially an older child.

•    Uses new or adult words for body parts; engages in adult-like sexual activities with toys, objects, or other children.

•    Frequent stomachaches or illnesses without identifiable reasons.

•    Leaves clues that seem likely to provoke discussion about sexual issues.

•    Change in appetite not explained by a known medical condition.

•    Nightmares, sleep problems, extreme fears without obvious explanation

•    Excessive clinginess from a child who has normally been secure.

•    Reluctance of a child to be around someone she or he has normally felt comfortable being around.

•    Seductive behavior with teachers or other children that is not appropriate for the student’s age.

•    Unusual interest in or knowledge of sexual acts and language considered inappropriate for the child’s age.

•    Excessive desire to wash hands or bathe.

•    Refusal to go to the bathroom from a child who has not previously been upset by doing so.

•    Obvious trauma to the mouth, bruising, or other injuries that occur on a regular basis and that the child makes excuses.

•    Drastic change in grades.

•    Excessive aggression toward you, teachers, peers, siblings, or pets not accounted for by loss of loved one, or change in your family situation as previously mentioned or challenges with peer at school or teacher at school.

•    Behaving in a sexually inappropriate manner with other children, toys, or animals.

•    Intentional self-harm, i.e., drug/alcohol use/abuse, cutting, burning, running away, sexual promiscuity, eating disorders

•    Sudden or unexplained personality changes; seems withdrawn, moody, angry, clingy, “checked out”, or shows signed of significant changes in eating habits.

For more information, or to contact Annette directly, you can visit her website or email her directly. The responses within are not intended to replace professional counseling that may be necessary in the situations presented, and do not constitute legal advice. All responses to questions are copywritten and no part of the responses may be reproduced, sorted in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission from Annette Schuster.