This is part of a series of frank answers to difficult questions regarding sexual abuse by Annette Schuster (includes mature content). For the introduction to the series click here.

Question:  How can we try to avoid exposing our child to sexual abuse?
 

We must pay attention to probabilities and avoid high-risk situations. The following are helpful guidelines for maintaining this vigilance in a variety of situations; last time we looked at health, home, moms, and stepfathers, and this time we look at childcare, friends, strangers, and the internet.

Regarding daycare and professional childcare:

1. Make sure daycare centers you use are licensed and in good standing.  Ask for verification that all daycare workers, including janitorial staff, are fingerprinted and have gone through state and federal background checks.
2. Remember, even if a person has a clean record, it does not mean they are not a sexual predator. It means, IF they are a sexual predator, they have not yet been caught and convicted.
3. Does the organization conduct pre-employment drug screening?
4. Does the organization conduct sexual abuse prevention/awareness training to all employees and volunteers at least annually?
5. What do other parents have to say about the organization or person you are considering trusting to care for your child?
6. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal messages that you child may be giving you which indicate that something is not right.

1. Take time to get to know your child and their friends, and their friend’s families.
2. Remember, private behavior cannot be predicted by public behavior.”  Just because someone is nice, does not mean they are not a sexual predator.
3. Have an “open door policy” when friends are over playing, AND when they are playing at someone else’s home. Let other parents know that you desire they use an open door policy when your child is in their home.
4. Do not be afraid to ask questions of your children or of those your children are with.
5. Participate in classroom, sports, and camp activities.

1. Is there a computer in your home?  Set it up in a public place and utilize filters which protect your child from accidentally accessing pornography. ALSO, Is there a computer in the home your child visits?  What protection do they provide?
2. Instruct your children to never, EVER agree to meet someone they have met on the Internet.
3. Never upload (post) photos of themselves onto the Internet or in chat rooms unless you give permission and are certain they are doing so on a safe site.
4. Teach them that people online do not always tell the truth.  Explain that someone may say they are 10 or 11-years old, and may even post a photo that confirms their age, but in fact be an adult.  The number one way children are kidnapped today is by information given by children in chat rooms.

If something in your gut tells you that a person or situation does not feel right, pay attention to your gut and do not subject your child to the possibility of abuse. Remember, it is better to be what others may consider overly cautious than not cautious enough. Above all, listen to your instincts.

Click here to proceed to PART FOUR

For more information, or to contact Annette directly, you can visit her website or email her directly. The responses within are not intended to replace professional counseling that may be necessary in the situations presented, and do not constitute legal advice. All responses to questions are copywritten and no part of the responses may be reproduced, sorted in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission from Annette Schuster.